By: cobra_commanDER on 3/26/2009 5:13:52 PM

ok, we lived across the street from the UT football stadium. so during games people would come and flood our neighborhood with cars, parking anywhere they could despite completely ruining it for everyone who lived there. so yeah, I needed to run some errands or some shit so I put out some cones to save my spot from the vultures and went about my business. when i came back there was a van parked over my freakin cones. I was effin fuming because I had to park far from my house because of this fucker. so I took a table leg from a table we had broken down for goodwill and baseball batted the passenger door and punctured holes in the side a long with a massive dent, I took a full piss into a pitcher and poured it all down the windshield and driver's side door, my roommate at the time took a black shit, wiped his ass, and smeared it on the door handles, he also grabbed some fish from the fridge and stuck it up under the van somewhere around the engine block. by this time, a few people had come and I was able to go get my truck from where i had parked it and came to park back at the house. since my truck is an old 92 chevy, i decided to ram the front of the van several times trying to adjust myself into the new spot vacated for me. we waited for dudes to show up and about 2 hours later when the sun was pretty much down and old lady walked to her van, opened the door, and drove away. i simultaneously felt great and horrible. i hate people.