It was the year 2007. This was quite possibly the finest hour for PC gaming. PC players everywhere spent a whole lot of dough upgrading their computers. There was good reason for this:
Crysis
The same year also brought the release of The Orange Box. This was when we were the coolest nerds. Back then, consoles were baby toys for halo players to bunny hop around on. We were the rock stars of the gaming world and pulled so much bro-ass it was like heaven. We used to game gloriously in the middle of busy streets and pronounce to the world that we had indeed pwnt nubs in the nude while you were busy being on time for work. We received congressional medal of honors for being so l33t and had special permission to fuck any inanimate object that we pleased. That's how I remember it anyway.
For the super PC nerd, possibly even more exciting was the upcoming release of S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Shadow of Chernobyl. It had been announced in 2001 and faced crippling setbacks and delays. after six long years it looked like STALKER was going to become vaporware. Then, in 2007 it's release was announced.
brutal mosh
The game map was built "geographically correct" (with Pripiat conveniently inserted in the wrong spot to provide an urban setting) with an 18 square mile area due south of the actual nuclear power plant disaster that occurred in 1986. The setting of the game was based in an alternate reality where another nuclear disaster took place after the first, further altering all life that surrounded it, creating all sorts of mutated life forms and anomalies. Ones that, of course, humanity wanted to exploit and sell. According to local lore, there is an area in the middle of "The Zone" that contained a powerful force that could grant anyone who could make it there alive, anything that they wanted. That is, if the powerful radiation around it didn't melt your brain first. It was loosely based on a film by the name, "Stalker", from the late 1970s.
It featured some wonderful and promising new approaches to the first-shooter genre. It combined some traits found in a typical RPG. There was simple customization of character. Special abilities and bonuses were based on equipment and anomalies possessed. These primarily were gained by exploring the enormous map's areas. The same equipment would wear down after time. Guns would jam and seize. Armor would get holes or lose bonuses. Items AND ammo (nice try Fallout 3) weighed a certain amount and the player could only carry so much. The game itself was more of a sandbox type setting, where main story arc missions were provided and essential to "finish" the game, while side quests and raids with friendly NPCs were provided often. It was possible to alter the outcome of the game and relationships with NPC's as well. Though there were dialogue trees, these changes were affected mostly through the player's actions. You could take sides with warring factions and each side had different benefits and motives, altering the ending. You could drink alcohol and get drunk. You could get radiation sickness. You could get hungry if you didn't eat. You could bleed out and die. You could whip out your donkle and scare away approaching enemies, rape them or take a piss in their face. Ok, maybe you couldn't go that far, but suffice it to say the gameplay provided a very realistic and immersive experience.
That was the idea anyway.
The atmosphere was immersive. Many textures were photo-realistic. There was a day and night cycle. Weather was constantly changing, affecting how far you could see. Weather also affected the scenery, making things look wet or blowing in the breeze. It used an artificial intelligence engine called "Alife" made so that over a thousand non-scripted characters, animals and mutants were ever developing and had their own life cycles. This meant they were random and interesting, even having to take time to rest, sleep and eat. They tackle situations differently and run when they are afraid or alone. Bullets were affected by gravity and ricocheted. Not aiming meant inaccurate firing. Damage was somewhat realistic and without proper armor, only a couple bullets could result in death. Action felt almost like Deus Ex: frustratingly difficult in the beginning, forcing players to adopt different tactics/equipment to succeed. It all made for an intense, oppressive and sometimes terrifying atmosphere. For all these parts, it was an innovative work.
Sounds amazing on paper (monitor), right?
It was not, friends. And it was for many very frustrating, simple reasons. Any game can be judged solely on it's storytelling ability. And in this department, STALKER failed miserably. It's premise was basic, but terribly convoluted and confusing. This was especially the case as much of the time it was easy to get involved in the side quests or random looting and encounters that turned out (not surprisingly) to be the meat of the game.
Some unknown bugs and glitches are a reality with any programming, but I don't think I recall ever seeing a game that ran as terribly as STALKER at release. When the game wasn't crashing (I swear I spent more time loading than playing), there were other game-breaking problems going on. One of the worst had to do with the AI. Since all characters were operating at all times in this randomized manner, any character could die at any time. INCLUDING THE ONES THAT ARE REQUIRED TO FINISH MISSIONS. It is kind of hard to continue with a quest given by a character when they are dead. No fear, you'll eventually run out of time and fail, making your reputation go down. Enemies could see you coming, sometimes literally from a mile away. Oh and they could hit you from that far too.
"But, at least the map is huge right? Fuck yeah, it is. Oh, a time limit on missions you say? Ok, well I'll just hop into the nearest taxi or steal a car. No working vehicles you say?, we'll I'll just use this necessary and convenient warp feature to get somewhat close enough so that I only have to sprint a couple miles to my obje... What? You mean I have to run all the way across this sprawling map to turn in a mission I got days ago? Oh and I have limited stamina? That makes perfect sense."
It didn't stop there. There was a day/night cycle. It was tough to take care of some of these missions at times when it would be hard to see anything. You know, like at night? Mind you, there is no moonlight at night in STALKER. The common answer: I'll get some sleep and tackle it in the morning. Sorry, friend. Pop out that PDA and hope you have enough to read until daybreak. No sleeping in STALKER. Weapons and armor wore out, and quickly at that. Repair them with inferior quality identical item would be first instinct, right? Yet this was not possible. For all the RPG aspects it adopted, it eshewed the abilities and actions to make them functional.
Stepping through a bush would alert enemies within a mile radius because of the noise. Oh, and stealth tactics, like knifing someone or attempting to move a body made too much noise too. There is even one account of one of our very own tacos, Captain Nic "My ass is like two coconuts holding a trailer hitch" Tiddlywinks, esquire XXVIII, actually accidentally walking right into the end of the game after only a couple hours of play. These were all things that were incredibly frustrating in addition to HALF OF THE GODDAMN GAME TEXT/VOICE NOT BEING TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH.
"Hello friend, I'm walking into your camp here and we aren't really friends. In fact, I don't believe we've met before. If you may be associated with any faction warring with mine, or I may have killed an acquaintance of yours, I apologize. I'm just going to keep walking here while you talk to me in russian gibberish. Oh ok, you shot me. I'm going to assume you don't like me, I don't need you for some sort of mission and I will kill you."
*3 hours later*
"I needed that guy I killed 3 hours ago for a mission..."
This is why I am quite pleased to say that the mod "S.T.A.L.K.E.R Complete 2009" has fixed all the above and gone further. Graphics have been improved to the point that it could pass as a full priced, new release. Light effects have been improved on as well as the visual effects of weather. Audio has been replaced with higher quality sounds and more russian acoustic folk tunes (YESSSS). AI has vastly improved as well. A list of the actual changes and the download can be found
HERE.
I've played through a quarter or more of the game glitch and bug free with no crashes. This is the game I intended to purchase 3 years ago. This is what I expected of it and the level I needed to be impressed by it. I am going to play through the entire game again and revel in it. I'm going to shit myself again when I meet a controller in a dark hallway and he tries to melt my mind while I shoot wildy as I try to aim with double vision. I will drink mass amounts of vodka and try to dance through a field of anomalies while blind dogs give chase and are thrown hilariously throough the air by a whirlygig.
Thank you Artistpavel and every artist involved. GSC should give you royalties for cleaning up their mess and making this game playable.
S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Shadow of Chernobyl will be on sale via Steam for $5 all through Sunday. It is part of package deal with it's sequel, S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Call of Pripyat, which I have yet to play.
My female Shepard's life in pictures.
I was trying to help Mordin out with his experiment, but I got bored.
Then I had a talk with Samara.
She passed out, so I put her on one of the examining tables.
This is not a lady-like way to sit, when wearing a dress.
There is an ogre from Dragon Age.
When I originally got Mass Effect, I did three play-throughs. I lost those saved games when I built a new computer and forgot. So then I decided to do one play-through for each class, and I've carried them over to Mass Effect 2. Above is my final character: female - renegade - engineer. She's just relaxing at a party at the moment.
All my records in one shelf. It's really cramped and I need to sell some for spare cash anyway.
These are all my prints in tubes. I've only framed two prints and I have probably ten of them sitting in tubes. I need money or a friend who can frame all these for a hug.
The inside of my really disorganized computer with a new heat sink that makes playing computer games a lot better. Plus it lights up.
This is some radioactive isotope I had to handle over summer in my chemistry class because the rest of my group were a bunch of pussies and thought they would get cancer. We all know radioactive materials give you gnarly super powers, not cancer.
While playing Battlefield Bad Company 2 with Rob and Sean, I was telling them about how much fucking suck my system had. They told me to run some tests on the temperature of my CPU. Turns out I probably could have fried an egg in my computer. I built my machine back in 2007 and never really dusted it. Anyway, this picture is of a lame attempt at cooling down my CPU with a fan. I ended up going out to Fry's and buying a new heat sink which increased my pwning noob scum ability by literally 10,000%.
Angry cows that were on the other side of my backyard. The one staring right at me was pretty fucking mad.
Cursed is a great band. Some dude printed this shirt after their break up because the band had owed them money or something, so with permission he ended up printing a black on black shirt of the he-goat man. Shirt fits great, looks great, is great.
My Mammoth Grinder record collection. This particular day, I had the two bottom right records show up a day before, the top record had showed up. This band is really good and is probably my favorite current band that hasn't broken up. I have two other records of theres not pictured.
My new video card. I bought a nVidea GTX 260 which is the size of my forearm, on the left is my old video card. I can't even remember what it was but I gave it to my friend who has an issue with drinking in his house. He called me one day asking if I had a video card which I happened to have since I replaced it. I went over to his house and asked what happened to his computer and he explained to me that when he drinks at home, he never makes it to the bathroom. Usually, he pisses in his own closet but that morning he woke up to double check if he had done the deed but had a dry carpet. Amazed, he tried to turn on the computer (being the slow one he is, he didn't think why it wasn't turning on) so he went on with his day playing Xbox. It dawned on him, he had pissed on the back of his computer frying his video card and the monitor connection. After hearing this and literally inches from taking his old video card out, I stared at him and told him he was going to replace it himself and that I'm not touching his ginger-pissed-computer.
Nader sent me this picture and it's now my background on my phone. I cried from laughing so hard at this picture. It makes me really happy.
This is an April fools prank my friend Jake and I pulled on his now sister in law. It kind of backfired on us since it was a really nice day in SLO and you could basically see the ocean from the bed on top of the roof/porch wooden thing it's on. We also water cupped her room. She was pissed, then happy, then pissed. Women.
Pair of Vans slip ons that I had a friend draw the Cursed He-Goat guy. I really really like this band. It took me over a year to send it to the guy, have him draw on them and then return them. Between the time I bought the shoes and got them back, I kinda didn't want to wear white slip ons because they would look like clown shoes. Luckily, we have jeans for that sole (get it?) purpose.
I honestly don't remember how old this supercharged Toyota Previa van is, but my brother totaled it while driving his friends to school last winter. I once had to drive it to school and my friends fondly referred to it as "the space ship" because inside the dashboard was pretty fucking big and the shotgun passenger could use the dash as a desk if they didn't mind the risk of the airbag deploying and smashing their stupid face with whatever they put on it. We also put on racing masks the same day and after school drove around the school parking lot abducting people since the van had a sliding door. We did this to a guy we knew and half way through it we realized he was fighting back really hard and seemed like he was panicking, we totally forgot that earlier that year he was really mugged and this was probably giving him some flashbacks. He ended up getting a perfect score on the SATs and is at UCB I believe. Nice guy, bad run in.
This is my second home made pizza I made and it came out way more better than the first. Notice the legitimate pizza handling wooden thing and my skillful topping placement. Rule.
This is a Cursed - Live 7" that I took a picture of while it was playing, the effect came out pretty nice with a camera phone and I really like Cursed. I could probably sell this copy on ebay for like $15.
These are the leftovers of my first attempt of homemade pizza. It came out really well. I feel like the thing that makes or breaks pizza is the dough; honestly one of the best pizzas I've ever had.
This is my best friend Chris. He was drunk and ate whatever he was eating cold and with no utensils. He's in the Navy as an EOD tech. He's really weird and I'm sure we have the same DNA somehow.
This is the first broken record I've ever received. It came from Canada and looked like a truck ran over it. I was pissed but it still plays okay even though I don't listen to it ever.
This is Jack, Tinfins on LGMB, he's wearing a dress because he wore jorts to his Chemistry lab instead of pants while handling dangerous chemicals. What an idiot.
This is a picture of myself and my friend Blake being "those guys" at a party where everyone was outside. I also realized how fucking lame it is to give the camera the finger.
I know you guys probably aren't fans of this kind of thing. I've always liked Sunn o))), but they aren't a band I listen to that often. But I popped this album in the stereo two days ago and have listened to it about ten times. I realized it is a great album for wading through a pain-pill-induced haze. It's a murky, dark album, so it is perfect for a murky mindset, via Percocets.
The same year also brought the release of The Orange Box. This was when we were the coolest nerds. Back then, consoles were baby toys for halo players to bunny hop around on. We were the rock stars of the gaming world and pulled so much bro-ass it was like heaven. We used to game gloriously in the middle of busy streets and pronounce to the world that we had indeed pwnt nubs in the nude while you were busy being on time for work. We received congressional medal of honors for being so l33t and had special permission to fuck any inanimate object that we pleased. That's how I remember it anyway.
brutal mosh
Sounds amazing on paper (monitor), right?
"Hello friend, I'm walking into your camp here and we aren't really friends. In fact, I don't believe we've met before. If you may be associated with any faction warring with mine, or I may have killed an acquaintance of yours, I apologize. I'm just going to keep walking here while you talk to me in russian gibberish. Oh ok, you shot me. I'm going to assume you don't like me, I don't need you for some sort of mission and I will kill you."
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