I made a craigslist ad yesterday

This is it:

Date:2010-01-28 14:20:29
PostID:1575330858
Title:(computer gigs) looking for pyro to spy-check

I'm lookin' for a Blu Pyro to spy-check, while I build up my sentry.
All you need to do spray fire everywhere around me while I get my sentry upgraded to level three.
It's not complicated. The Red team has a really good spy and I'm sick of him sappin' all my shit.

eruption
 Location: Seattle
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
 Compensation: no pay 

Well, it got flagged and removed, but before it did, I got a few positive email responses:

Josh:
You sir made my day. That game is so fun, and that ad was so random.

Juliya:
Hey,
Saw your Craigslist ad, I want to set shit on fire. Need I say more?

Andy:
I am a pyro who hates spies.


I am going to make some more.

Hey! Is this a penis or a vagina?

NSFW (Obviously)

I don't see any balls, soo...

You want to see me get angry on the internet?

this just in from an angry Facebook wallpost today:



"the best way to browse the internet"

with no flash support...

yeah, spend your money on this, it's a great idea. ... See More

not only does it have no practical application except, "feel my Mac-Status", what comfortable position are you to use this thing in? Oh wait, that will come in a stand sold separately by apple for $50. Sure, you can use all those old apps you bought on your new Ipad, if you enjoy them looking more like a lint roller that went down on a poodle. $130 more dollars if you want AT&T 3G support maybe with an extra data-handling fee, well known for it's quality and availability of connectivity. It has a wonderful, updated OS with, read it: NO MULTITASKING. It's a great ereader though, if you want to buy something that weighs more and is generally bulkier than anything on the market with the worst screen available. No camera, but who wanted to see your ugly ass posted from your Ipad anyway. That keyboard, great design, it will grant you carpal tunnel much faster and is so responsive and much more practical than a real keyboard. it's CPU "...has the same clock speed as the Apollo Guidance Computer from the late 1960's" which doesn't really matter considering you can only run one application at once. As a portable computer it's equally priced, but far less capable than other laptops. It might be nice to bring to the toilet for a good, long ritual, but it just seems to lack the crotch warming that my laptop gives.

I feel like I missed something...

Well no, i was wrong. It IS capable of multi-tasking: you can smash it on the ground and use the shards to slit your wrists.

Nvidia drivers update

I know most of us use Nvidia gpu's so I thought I let you know....

New drivers (196.21): 32-bit or 64-bit

"Adds SLI and multi-GPU support for many top new gaming titles including Avatar Demo, Battlefield: Bad Company 2, City Bus Simulator, Dirt 2, Ferrari Virtual Race, GREED: Black Border, Mass Effect 2, Mortal Online, Ninja Blade, Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising Demo, Planet 51, RUSE, Serious Sam HD, and Wings of Prey."

Good news, because Mass Effect 2 was running a little choppy for me. Granted I have every setting pushed as high as it goes...

Let's kiss.

Scout sells slap-chop?

I guess this is kind of old, but I just found it searching random things.

Dargorn Arge: Gorglegins #3

LOOK AT HIS FACE.

Also, read this: Video game success may be in the mind, study finds

Mass Effect 2 Launch Trailer: Wow wow wow

Star Wars shoes

I don't know about you guys, but I would totally wear these Darth Vader shoes.

Adidas Star Wars shoes

Men are from Mars

Women are from Venus
I come from a town
That puts wings on a penis

:3

A Valentines Gift to my Own Ass

Today I wanted to prove how much I care for my supple buttcheeks by giving them a gift that keeps on giving...

A Supergreat Executive Computer chair.

It comes with a support stem made of a glass bong, for optimum-wayste during long gaming sessions, leather ass support so fecal stains wipe off clean, anti-jizz stain coating (to protect against Mass Effect franchise release dates), Asian assistant with a 60-day supply of freeze dried meatloaf, memory foam nutsack pad to conform to even us "lefties", and an adjustable lumbar support.

Eat your heart out Kyle Phillips



This is my last chair. It was a hand me down from college buddies.



It will be on the market at craiglist under "seen a whole lot of ass".

Sentry Goin Up

EDIT: Here is the guy's youtube account that makes these videos. There are several more.

Watch them




And in case you missed them or want to watch them 400 more times.

A Billionaire's Millenium Machine

Today I had to fix the technologies of one billionaire playboy, Kyle Phillips. It was payment for having been embarrassed by a Dirty Dad Dick via the internet. He explained to me (as dictated by one of his assistants) that your reputation means everything when you own several large islands in the pacific, one of which being Japan. All the while he glared at me from the heights of his gigantic champagne glass bubble bath.



I was taken to the Nerdery in a separate building adjacent to the main house and just south of the "Phillip's Church of the Immaculate Duckets" on his compound. I was there to service his millenium machine, one that will aid him in taking over a portion of Gabe Newell's holdings in Valve and all associated ventures.




Inside the Nerdery there were 53 people at any given time posting under several of Kyle Phillips' messageboard and TF2 franchises. As I walked through the massive building, they caught this man taking a break to e-mail his wife and children whom he had not seen or talked to in 15 months.



He was corrected, immediately and severely, by being bonked endlessly by his captors. It is much too violent to show on a family website, so this is the censored version of what it looked like:


He was disposed of in the garden.



After a long day of troubleshooting, I had fixed the Billionaire Bastards technologies. It was time to head to my peaceful home to play computer games and put beer in my face.

Curse the Phillips

Dargorn Arge: Gorglegins #2

Borderlands DLC: Mad Moxxi

Sean and I completed the Hell-Burbia round of the new Borderlands DLC. I played a little by myself and found it be different than what I was expected. Then I played with Sean and it really got more fun. I was expecting it to be like those little missions where you just have to beat three waves of baddies and that's that. Hell-Burbia has full buildings to take cover in, and the enemies don't just relentlessly come after you. They also take cover and try to snipe you. Not sure how the other rounds are, but Hell-Burbia took us about 40 minutes to beat.

Zeno Clash Review

Hello friends.

Today we will be talking about the fabulous game called Zeno Clash made by ACE Team. It is a source mod set in a whimsical and fantastic world inhabited by all sorts of strange creatures and people. The environments, characters, and visuals are diverse and extremely impressive. This game is beautiful. You will have several "Oh shit!" *points at screen* moments.



There is an old PC adventure game called The Neverhood. I felt like some of the environments were reminiscent of that. The level design is very well thought out, but can be linear at times. It doesn't detract though. The characters are imaginative and all have unique personalities. The voice acting is good, though I did not care for the main character's voice. The dialogue can be lame at times, but there is also humor. The curse word in this world is "kak." It's funny when they say it. The sound effects and music are superb and help set the tone and heighten the drama. I want to kiss this game on the mouth because it is so pretty.



You start the game by learning how to kick chickens. You are then thrown directly into a fight and the action begins. Before I get to that, I'd like to comment that the story is pretty damn good. I'll let you play the game rather then tell you the story. It is told through a series of long flashbacks. That's neat. Anyway, back to the kicking and punching. The main method of combat in this game is hand to hand combat. The game will teach you as you go. I feel like people would either love it or hate it. I had no issue with the system, but some may find it clunky. It's fun to use different combos and vary the strength of your punches. Additionally there are weapons like bone-swords, skull grenades, and fish-pistols. The design on these is great. Some of the fights get tough towards the end and it makes it really challenging and fun.



Additionally there is a challenge mode where you are timed and have to fight on several stories to the top of a tower . There are five different difficulties I believe. You can compare your times with your steam friends. This game has Sandpeople. It took me about five hours to play through. I did it in one sitting since it was so fun. Right now it is $15 on Steam. I purchased it on sale for about 5 dollars, so I suggest you wait for a sale unless you have the extra money. It is worth it. Highly recommended.

Zeno Clash

More Screenshots
Bad Man
Donkey Guys
Sword
The Bar
Father-Mother
Creepiest fucking thing in a video game ever

No Elves

Dargorn Arge: Gorglegins #1

This is why you need this game.

Steam Hardware Survey of December 2009

It's reassuring to know that my PC is still 1337 (HAHA).

CLICK HERE!

On another note, while deeply involved (balls deep, some would say) in some Grand Theft Auto IV, my PC overheats and shuts down. I've had my CPU overclocked to 3.0 for almost two years now and I have never had a problem with overheating. I turn my PC back on after about thirty minutes of it being off, and the temperature reading from the bios was over 100 degrees Celsius. Needless to say, I set my CPU back to the manufacturer settings (2.4 GHz) just to be safe and I am now looking into water cooling.

HAHA OWNED.

one-handed dad

overcomes

pwnt

More Engineer Fun

Last night a man asked, "what is a chode?"




Another man answered, "i think it's a taint..."




A graphical gonad to shove into your knowledge hole.

Global Agenda

I know most of you guys aren't interested in this, but Sean wanted to see some videos, so I'm posting some that I found on Youtube. I've already pre0rdered and will subscribe monthly to get the extra content. You can go to the game's website to see the two different models. Basically, you can buy the game and just play it, or you can buy the game, subscribe, and get additional content. Anyways...





Global Agenda