i watched this

you should watch it too because you might like it.



if you don't like it you don't have to get mad at me or anything.


simon cottee's blog

well, this is something

"Legendary Pictures, the studio behind great films such as The Dark Knight, Watchmen, The Hangover and 300 have picked up the rights to make Mass Effect. Legendary Pictures will produce with Thomas Tull, Jon Jashni along with Avi Arad (who has been behind great films like Iron Man, X-Men and Spider-Man). From BioWare Ray Muzyka, Greg Zeschuck and Casey Hudson will serve as executive producers."

http://social.bioware.com/forum/1/topic/129/index/2717410

Do you game like the sweatiest of men?

DO YOU GARM EVER SO HARD?

DO YOU WEAR BANANA HAMMOCKS MADE OUT OF DUCT TAPE?

YOU FREEBASE VICODIN WITH THE 9_FINGERED_NERD_KING?

MY NERD STATION, ALLOW ME TO SHOW IT TO YOU

sad times

So it turns out that I need surgery on my destroyed hand. I'm going in on Friday to have pins and screws drilled into my bones. This may adversely affect my gaming time, which needless to say makes me very upset. So, everyone come out tonight and tomorrow night to game with your dadbutt on some TF2, maybe some gun-games and/or anything else. Hopefully I'll find a way to get around whatever they wrap my hand in, but I doubt it.

Also, I'm leaving for Hawaii a week from tomorrow and will be gone for a week.
So please talk to me.

Half Life: Poop.

Nic sent this to me via cellular device and captioned it "Half Life, bro".

Enjoy.

letters from the field

My darling wife,

Today was one of the most difficult days I've experienced since this war started. Even in the midst of this conflict Dan finds a way to make us laugh. But today even Dan couldn't mask his pain behind humor. The news may reach you before this letter arrives, but today we lost our brother Shane Morris. His death is taking a toll on all of us.

We tried so hard, but we just couldn't get the B point armed. Shane gave his life to help secure the objective. Nerder saw Shane go down from a Russian sniper bullet and told Nic to cover him. Nerder ran towards Shane's body, hit "E" and picked up his medic kit.

But before Nerder could switch to the defib-gadget...

Shane was gone.

Please keep the Morris family in your prayers. I hope to return home soon, but we have to defend the very points we attacked yesterday.

love,
dadbutt

Red Assfault Pt. II: excrement in excess of 300 pounds

There was this one time I told you about driving in West Virginia. Well I’m going to do it again and you can’t stop me because I’m a man and I do the things that I want to do.

There are a lot of stereotypes about West Virginia. I am not a person who repeats things like that because I’m a good guy who you’d like to be your friend. So I’m about to earfuck some truth into your brain port:

West Virginia is full of fat people.

They wear camouflage to hide it. It’s like a big game of pretend when people have sex together. Sometimes they even have babies right in the middle of it and people mistake the baby for some of the skin flying off of the woman and then they try to duct tape it back on because it’s pretty strong and they use it to fix stuff on the car so it probably works on that too. Then later they figure out it’s a baby and say “what do babby?” because they’re dumb and fat and talk funny because that’s what WV people are, all of them, not judging at all.

In case you didn’t know this already, it is a proven scientific fact that fat people are inferior when it comes to operating vehicles. The fatter they get is the shorter their arms become. Because of this they have to move their seats way up to be able to steer. When they finally get close enough to steer, the bottom of the steering wheel puts pressure on their barrel chests, thus restricting movement, limiting the amount of air taken in a breath, depriving the brain of oxygen. A very important doctor who is rich and single from Florida can confirm this.

Nader is also very fat so he can tell you about it, too.

Another scientific fact, just servin’ to bring the fat man down, is that they lose more fine motor skill with each pound gained. This is a simple matter of their sausage fingers getting way too big. This means that it is difficult to tie knots, and since West Virginia isn’t a very tech-savvy area, they haven’t yet adopted bungie cords (legislation is pending).

This puts them at a severe disadvantage when it comes to hauling things, a subject of which I am an experienced researcher. An explanation of my experience from yesterday is a prime example:

I am in my car, a luxurious 1999 Pontiac GrandPrix, with fine, stitched cloth seating, blown speaker system and 3.8 liter “low coolant light” engine. I am on a beautiful stretch of four lane mountain toll road. I am listening to my Kid n’ Play compact disc. My day is over and I am happy. The air smells like farts because I had coffee.

I pull into the left lane behind an explorer hauling a large trailer, about the size of another car. At the moment, I don’t notice that this situation looks curiously like one I’ve been in and written about before.

I’m much too busy thinking about this awful dream I had last night where I had a knife. I kept trying to cut cheese with the knife but I couldn’t do it. Every time I tried to cut the cheese I’d miss and the wall would explode. Here I am using this knife trying to cut this cheese and it turns out all it’s good for is destroying my apartment. I could see a man in the parking lot laughing at me. He had a ball cap on that said DICE, but I digress.

I am ecstatic and jamrocking the guts of my car to "2 hype" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp8QmidCcsk&feature=related).

A truck enters the left lane and proceeds to ride my bumper, presumably because he wanted to get funky fresh to my blasting compact disc player. Over the phat beats emitting from my crackling, broken speakers I hear a faint sound that turns my puckering starfish to ice. I stop Crip walking my accelerator and turn my gaze just in time to see a shower of sparks consume the hood of my vehickle. 30 feet ahead of me a truck-sized trailer has jumped the hitch attached to the vehicle hauling it. It is decelerating quickly, probably a result of friction, but I have no time for science.

Looking at the giant grill in the rear view mirror (the only part of the truck behind now visible) and turning to the rogue trailer from hell spewing unfastened items out from itself in front of me, I quickly hatch a plan.

First, I shit all over myself. Next, I cry. Last, I make a desperate split-second attempt to call my mother to let her know during the last moments of my life how much my dog means to me and that he shall receive my worldly possessions and also for her not to forget her cosigner obligation to pay off my school loans.

Just when I am about to chew on trailer’s ass parts the chain catches. Ironically, though forgetting to secure anything in the trailer or even the trailer itself, the driver in front of me did remember to chain the trailer to the frame. The trailer slides wildly around in front of me, mere feet away. So I do the only thing I can when surrounded by a jersey barrier, a butt-humping Ford F1fuckyoudickheadhitthegoddamnbrakesalready and a wall of right lane 5pm Friday traffic: Nothing.

In the face of death, I didn’t actively do a goddamn thing, friends. I succumbed to the will and speed of the trailer. It made me think about my life, all those things that Kyle Phillips told me about God needing money and being god’s designated moneyholder…

I’ve had an epiphany, brothers:

I forgot to turn off the faucet in the kitchen when I left in the morning.

Sleep Is Death

Here at I Am A Taco we like to support indie games and indie developers.



That is a picture from Jason Rohrer's Sleep Is Death. It's a nun shooting two guys in a church. This is what happens when you go to church. Pretty neat if you ask me. From what I gather Sleep Is Death is a super innovative two player sandbox type game.

It looks quite fun. I want to play it and I'm in luck! Jason Rohrer has graciously decided to adopt the pay whatever you want model. He was originally charging 20 dollars for this game, but now you can pay what you want and you get TWO COPIES. One for you and one for a friend. I am buying it so I have a copy to give to someone. Tell me if you want the copy.

Before taking the plunge you should click through this: What is Sleep Is Death?

I am still kind of confused about it, but when we play this game with each other think of the possibilities!

Here is what someone at RPS said when he played it: RPS

Okay this is the link to the site where you pay for the game and download it.

Click here and scroll down!

Post download edit:

This is going to take some figuring out. One person controls everything that happens behind the scenes in the game while the other just moves and talks and interacts. So you make your own stories. Then the controller has 30 seconds to react by manipulating the scene. It's pretty cool. I need someone to try it with. There are tutorial videos - I watched the first one and it made some things make some sense. Videos. I did this.



Second post download edit:

You're probably going to want to wait to download this unless you are super interested in working at it with me because it's going to take some time before it gets fun. Or download it anyway and mess around with it. It was a nice thought. I still want someone to play with. There are a million user created images and scenes to download, so that is cool.

This about sums it all up.

I am not gaming tonight

I'll be at the Coalesce show. I'll be putting beer in my face

but...

Tomorrow is Friday and I'm going to get some serious gaming done.

I hate when you kill me.

The gaze.

We were talking about "the gaze" in my film class and how it's a man objectifying a woman then how awkward it is when a man casts his gaze on another man.

All I thought about when I saw this was "jorts" and "Rob would make these".

You keep on calling me "Babu"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iz7k_tIdEY

(embedding disabled)

IT'S SIIIINGH, MOTHERFUCKER.

Let Me Show You My Game Face

As well as my sweet Mann Co. shirt.

I will rock your socks off now.

Also, a small men's shirt is like a dress on me. :(

Happy Star Wars Day

Happy Star Wars Day!

I make things when I'm bored

I wish I was at home playing computer games.
Also, this:

We Need

To TF2 all night long.

Here is a gif of cats.
:3