Seattle/PAX live blog.

Thursday, Sept. 2nd

4am: I have never seen an airport empty before. I am seeing it right now. Oh, nevermind a large man in overalls covered in what smells like shit just came in.

5am: they attendant at the baggage claim just made it in time. I was about to get involved in deep philosophical conversation with the man covered in shit. To kill time, I helped him scotch tape his bags shut. Never can be too careful I suppose.

5:17am: security check out time. The man covered in shit, when asked to remove his shoes, replied, "I don't think you want me to do that..." They should have listened.

5:30am: I just used handsoap to clean out my nose. I hope I don't have to sit next to shit man. I just don't know if I can forgive him for what he did back there. Odd, we're supposed to be boarding right now and we're not...

5:45am: the flight is delayed until 6:25.

6:30am: the flight is delayed until 6:45.

6:45am: the flight will definitely board at 7

7:25am: the flight is canceled. Apparently in the battle of plane vs. Tiny bird, tiny bird wins. My only option from ms.clerk, whom I've come to affectionately refer to as "dr. Cuntface the Calculated", is to wait until 1:52pm to fly to atlanta. I ask, as calmly as possible, if there are any other options. she replies, "I have a flight 3 hours after, would you prefer that?" *facepalms through the fucking wall* time to sleep in an airport. I wave goodbye to my checked luggage as I will never see it again.

8am: sleeping on a bench is hard

8:15am: sleeping in a chair is hard

8:45am: sleeping on a floor is hard.

9:15am: no sleep is happening.