Tonight i'm going to San Francisco

Hopefully I run into the Olsen twins and tell them that they need to go to church with Kyle Phillips because their life is truly lacking. I will look for them in their childhood home.



Then I'm going to go to the Castro District and get my dry dick humping on with a bunch of manly men.



After that, I'll meet back up with my friends that I ditched and see Torche


Also Kylesa and then I'm leaving before High on Fuck plays because, well, I don't care. Also I'll probably be really deaf because it's going to be loud as fuck.

Banjos.

I like banjos. I wish more music had banjos.

pretty sure Dan hates me

very reminiscent of this:
pwnt

Blighted's record is finally out

Our beautiful Portugese boy and his band have their record out now. So you can drag your hairy ass over to here, blighted.bigcartel.com, and find it all. Hooray!

Dragon Age: Origins - unnecessary censorship

Minecraft

Since the game really isn't in a "finished" state, it would be silly to give it a proper review. But with it being free this weekend (www.minecraft.net) and for as long as it takes to accommodate the massive amount of traffic it's servers have gotten this week, I took some time to give it a fair shake, much like the wang dangler after a satisfying squirt.

There is something incredibly familiar about why I couldn't put this down. It is the same feeling that someone gets in the first playthroughs of games like X-COM: UFO Defense, Deus Ex, A Boy and His Blob.... wait, bad choice. It doesn't give you this feeling because it LOOKS like it could have been made around the same era. There is a much better reason. Like many of the classics, this game makes no effort to guide your hand in anything. You are not a hero. You are given no goal. There is no story. There is no background. You are made of blocks.


You are dropped in the middle of a randomly-generated, hostile world with one thing on your mind. Figure out how to survive. This is quite literal, given you have no instruction on how to do this. You are given controls and your imagination.


That is why the game is great. You figure out how to do the shit you want to do because you are an adult. No need to baby you with a pusscake tutorial, run and find shelter, asshole.


Visually, it's just right. It fits the back to basics view on games that is seems to be made with and becomes quite endearing after a bit of play. The atmosphere is done beautifully. You are immersed in a world where you have to judge your priorities based on the location of sun/moon. You will be reduced to a cowering 6 year old when you hear a giant spider in a dark cave. You will scramble to light a torch and shut your door when the sun sets. Intermittently, appropriately lonely music will play and you will wonder how you've just spent 4 hours building a home in the clouds. You will throw your monitor out the window when you are killed by a creeper and have no idea where you are when you wake up and are left with no shelter, no materials and no leather pants that you just crafted from raw cow ass.

(I promise this will terrify you)

This game is being made with a very clear understanding of what makes gaming fun. Player creativity, exploration, immersion, progress and a whole lot to lose if you don't succeed.

Buy Minecraft. You need to give Notch your money.

pc gamer - Dragon Age 2 words

I don't know if you've seen it or not, but PC Gamer has a nice thorough write up on Dragon Age 2. If you are interested in the game, then it is a very good read.

PC Gamer - Dragon Age 2

BFBC2 SERVER

I am a Taco is now the proud owners of a bouncing babby bfbc2 server.

The IP is: 206.217.136.34:19567

but since there are no ways of connecting via IP that i know of...

just search for I AM A TACO (in all caps or you won't find it)

right now it is strictly rush maps with no rules. auto balance is on. It has all features allowed except friendly fire and hardcore mode.

In the comments section, weigh in if you want any rules or settings applied. Same goes if you want a map excluded.

The One True Religion.

Rob's life in pictures.

Medal of Honor - pc game-play

While Sean and I were at PAX, we noticed a lot of Medal of Honor hype. The Medal of Honor booth/gaming area always had a long line to get in, so we never stood on it. The funny thing is that other booths had the same game-play demo. We went to Logitech's booth to check out a mouse, and ended up getting to play. We went to some other company's booth to check out headphones and got to play there as well. I'm not sure why more people didn't figure this out, but that's beside the point.

Sean said, "It looks almost just like BC2, but I know I'll end up buying it." Considering the multiplayer is made by DICE, we figured some of you other tacos would probably be getting it. Seems like it will feel very familiar coming from BC2.


watch video
share thought
enslavement

One of Rob's favorite videos.

some more SW:TOR video action

This video shows some more action & story. I don't know why, but videos of this game just don't do it justice. It looks way better on a computer screen right in front of you. At PAX they were only letting you play certain classes in certain areas, but it plays and looks very nice.

Flying is Terrible

I would first like to thank blackberry for making live blogging impossible.

Second, I would like to tell you why flying is awful.

The first reason flying is awful is because of this guy.

In securities, in which i have professional experience in, it's important to make absolutely sure how bad this man smells. The best test is to make him take off his shoes in public. That way, we know how strong the stomachs are of the people standing behind him. If they vomit in the airport because of that guy's smells, they could be biological hazard on the plane and have to be put down.

The second reason is because of birds.

Apparently giant metal planes get their ass kicked all the time by these animals. I'm pretty sure i could kick any bird's ass and I'm not giant and metal with jet engines. Birds are small and dumb. Even if they are big, i could use my giant human brain to outsmart it. I did it in Dragon Age once with a Dragon and they are like big birds pretty much. Well, maybe i couldn't beat up a Cassowarie. Those are like the gangbangers of the bird world.

The third reason is because of bad parenting.

I could definitely kick a baby's ass. There is no doubt about that. They are small and weak and don't even have a valid form of ID or line of credit. I wouldn't do it because it's so easy, and because i'm a man and real men like challenges. The parents should be punished for bad kids. I'll leave that to someone else because they could know karate or have a gun or something that i don't even know about.

The fourth reason is because of praying.

I don't know why people need to have a prayer circle before getting onto a plane and while it is in flight. I'm pretty sure that once you get high up enough you could wave to jesus and be like, "don't player hate and knock down my plane, god jr.". Patrons of the Church of Bastard Phillips thought otherwise. One lady even read her own prayers that she made up to me. She said that jesus loves me, but i don't know if that is at all true. If jesus loved me, or even liked me, he might get back to me about that money i let him borrow from ages 7-13.

It's a good thing i'm so smart because i just figured out how the solution to all these problems yesterday. All you have to do is eat and drink as much as you can at an airport chili's and make stankin farts with your ass for the entire time you are on a plane. If need be, shit yourself and do it multiple times and make faces like this:

Then you don't have to put up with anyone's shit. Just yours.

MEN.

PAX day 2 pictures.

We got inflatable Dragon Age 2 sword/staff things.

We crossed the streams.

Rift.

Final Fantasy 14.

Alienware stuff.

Bioshock people.

Medal of Honor

Duke Nukem Forever...we played it.

Female Shepard.

crappy cell-phone shots from PAX day 1

Portal 2 theater

2 shots of the best looking computer we saw.
Special water blocks for the RAM.

a computer that we demo'd peripherals on

Aquarium computer.

Seattle/PAX live blog.

Thursday, Sept. 2nd

4am: I have never seen an airport empty before. I am seeing it right now. Oh, nevermind a large man in overalls covered in what smells like shit just came in.

5am: they attendant at the baggage claim just made it in time. I was about to get involved in deep philosophical conversation with the man covered in shit. To kill time, I helped him scotch tape his bags shut. Never can be too careful I suppose.

5:17am: security check out time. The man covered in shit, when asked to remove his shoes, replied, "I don't think you want me to do that..." They should have listened.

5:30am: I just used handsoap to clean out my nose. I hope I don't have to sit next to shit man. I just don't know if I can forgive him for what he did back there. Odd, we're supposed to be boarding right now and we're not...

5:45am: the flight is delayed until 6:25.

6:30am: the flight is delayed until 6:45.

6:45am: the flight will definitely board at 7

7:25am: the flight is canceled. Apparently in the battle of plane vs. Tiny bird, tiny bird wins. My only option from ms.clerk, whom I've come to affectionately refer to as "dr. Cuntface the Calculated", is to wait until 1:52pm to fly to atlanta. I ask, as calmly as possible, if there are any other options. she replies, "I have a flight 3 hours after, would you prefer that?" *facepalms through the fucking wall* time to sleep in an airport. I wave goodbye to my checked luggage as I will never see it again.

8am: sleeping on a bench is hard

8:15am: sleeping in a chair is hard

8:45am: sleeping on a floor is hard.

9:15am: no sleep is happening.

Waste Donkus.

The year is 2, in the year prior to our lord. Moses has come down from the heavens to bestow the Twin bongs of waste upon the Mesopotamian culture, a thriving group of individuals. The Donkus, who has lay in wait for the past decade watched this chance encounter and struck like cobra.