I was talking to a friend about Star Wars and I realized I "knew" a lot about the movies without even seeing any of them.
So, for some comic relief here is Star Wars According to Snowy:
Yoda is green, small, talks confusingly, but he's a smart...thing.
Han Solo is a guy who does stuff...I think he dies.
Luke and Leia are siblings and they kiss, everyone gets a boner at this part.
Darth Vader wears a silly mask and he talks silly, he's Luke's father.
Luke and Darth Vader duke it out...I think Darth Vader loses.
The Death Star is Darth Vader's ship.
Darth Maul looks weird and used to creep me out as a kid.
R2-D2 is a robot.
Chewbacca is a Wookie.
Jar Jar Binks is awesometasticly annoying.
Jabba the Hut is disgusting and used Leia as a sex slave.
It looks like I'm gonna have to schedule a bunch of tattoo sessions now.